I just finished a 7-day detox. At the beginning, I thought it would be a cake walk, without the cake. But, it turned out to be more challenging than I initially thought it would be. Yes, this was my first ever detox and so I was being a bit naive. I would compare it to running a marathon (which I did many years ago). You are first excited about it. You even load on carbs the night before. For the detox, I had a fabulous breakfast at my favorite coffee shop the day before (see pic below). You go shopping for what you will need … for the marathon, these are energy gels to get you going during the run, for the detox, the groceries list consists of all greens on the face of the earth plus fruits and more greens. Did I mention greens? Maybe I should be a bit more specific since they are the stars of the detox (in my opinion), so, here we go kale, cabbage, romaine, arugula, spinach, bok Choy, broccoli, green beans, snap peas, cucumbers, celery, cilantro, parsley, … and their vegetable cousins beets, carrots, fennel, zucchini, … what a feast!
When the marathon starts, you are excited and try to pass everyone else around. You think: “These losers should have trained more!” Then by mile 12, you start feeling a loser yourself and think: “What did I get myself into?” By mile 16 you are sure you should have trained more and pretty much feel like crap. At mile 20, you start getting excited again since there are only 6 more miles to go. You devour all the energy gels you find in your pockets and eventually, you reach the finish line. At that point, you are in awe of the world, your body, your mind and soul. You feel tired, but also, renewed.
I started the detox feeling very excited. I was happy I had taken the time to take care of me and to clean up my body of any gunk I had inside – the byproduct of any non-healthy stuff I consumed over the years. My liver deserved a cleanse and I knew it. I joined the detox facebook support group (yes, we were a total of 20 brave souls) and initially thought: “Who needs support for a detox? Give me a break!”. But, as the days went by, and as in mile 12 of a marathon, I realized the support group was actually essential for me to get going since I was really wondering what I got myself into. I was hungry and cranky. At day 4 of the detox, as in mile 16, I felt like crap, even because crap seemed to be getting out of all holes in my body. Again, the support group was there for me. One of my fellow detox friends (who shall remain unnamed) crapped on her sheets during the night without noticing it. Yes, stuff was coming out and I decided to skip yoga class for a few days. Couldn’t bare the thought of doing something inappropriate in a downward dog pose. I decided I would also start sleeping with double pajamas, just in case. Finally, I realized sneezing was a dangerous activity – the trick to do it without accidents is to clench your butt while you sneeze.
As day 6 arrived, I felt green was just pouring out of me.
I had a headache all day. But, as the night approached, I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel since day 7 was about to arrive. Woohoo!
Today is the day after. I feel great and grateful for this amazing opportunity that literally made me crap my pants (on one occasion, I admit – luckily I was home). And if you are wondering, yes, I lost a few pounds. 6 in total. That is great too … and went back to yoga today. Om.
I want to thank all the people that supported me during the detox, including my boyfriend, who I am glad to report is still my boyfriend … my fellow awesome detoxers (you rock!), Gail and ROBIN LEE for organizing and putting it together. Robin Lee is amazing and I feel extremely fortunate to have met her a few years back. She is an outstanding medical intuitive and has helped me immensely. Her website is intuitionheals.com. I hope my blog does not scare you away from trying a detox yourself. I know you can do it! The next one is this Summer. I was debating if I would join or not, but I ended up winning a free entry – THANKS, ROBIN! Come and join us. It will be fun, I promise!
Check below some of the awesome salads I came up with. Lots of steamed vegetables will keep you warm and cozy.
For some laughs on some of the consequences associated with a detox. I highly recommend the sketch below from Margaret Cho from one of her comedy shows. Hope you crap your pants laughing!
3 thoughts on “Detox Time”
AHHHH Sounds like a job for Depends!
Honestly, I think I would rather run a marathon than detox…even though both can make you crap your pants..at least the marathon is over sooner. This made me laugh til I thought I would, you know…
Susie, you can do it! 🙂